"I don't think I will ever come back"
Recently a couple came to visit our temple. I asked how their first experience in India was and they responded that they didn't think they would ever come back.
Is this how we should deal with bitter tasting experiences?
I remember the first time I had bitter melon. I had never eaten bitter food before so my immediate response was to never eat the sfuff again! The irony is that years later I ended up working for that same restaurant and relishing a particular version of that same item :)
How?
1. I saw how it was prepared.
2. I liked it prepared in a certain way (according to my taste, which is with lots of lemon and pan-fried in ghee instead of boiled or steamed).
3. I found out that bittermelon is an excellent blood-purifier.
Similarly, when a bitter tasting experience in life takes place, it can be a great source of inspiration or nourishment like food when we apply the 3 above.
1. We see the bigger picture - how the bitter experience was cooked up by destiny or our previous karma and use of our minute independence.2. Make it according to your taste - see the wonderful lessons to be learned and how it has helped YOU especially grow. Though others may hear of the lessons and benefit, you still have a unique relationship with that experience because it happened to you.
3. Learn of the benefits - see how the ancient scriptures teach us that so-called bitter-tasting experiences benefit us by propelling us to seek out and meditate on the real goal of life. Queen Kunti, the mother of the five Pandava brothers of Mahabharat, prays that bitter tasting experiences keep coming into her life because they prompt her to keep meditating on her goal of life of always remembering the Lord of her heart (Krishna), resulting in feeling sheltered. Also, just as bittermelon can help all purify their blood, similarly our bad tasting experiences can be a source of inspiration for others.
Yesterday Nicole, a university professor from Pennsylvania, came to interview various people in our community. She is writing a book on innovative outreach in the International Society for Krsna Consciousness. She was mentioning that for 1 year - a part of her degree - she lived in Jaipur India. Vrindavan, Krsna's appearance place, is nearby so she visited once. While there she was told to not look at the monkeys when passing by them, because they take it as a challenge and become aggressive. But one time she was walking down the street alone and there was a monkey right in front of her. There was no way to not look at him cause he was right in her way, but that prompted 3 monkeys to swoop down on her from the nearby buildings and attack her, She screamed and they ran with the bag she had been holding. It was such an unnerving experience that she swore never to visit Vrindavan again.
But in researching places to visit for her book she realized that Vrindavan could not be skipped. So with the goal of visiting to do research for her book, she was able to overcome her previous bad experience with the place. Similarly we can overcome previous bad tasting experiences with places and people if we focus on interacting for a greater benefit beyond ourselves.